Day 37 - Diary of a 16-year-old Katya from Mariupol

“We were going to the bathroom, sleeping and eating the leftovers of the food in one basement. Once uncle Kolya captured a pigeon, it was probably the fifth or sixths day. We fried it, and ate it. And then it made all of us throw up.”

“When our neighbor died, we were not able to bring her body outside, and she started stinking. Then it became quiet, and uncle Kolya went to bring her outside, and he himself blew up on a land mine. Mom was crying a lot. After daddy’s death, uncle Kolya was the closest person. [….] Dead bodies stink. They were everywhere there. I covered my brother’s eyes with my mom’s scarf, that he doesn’t see it.”

“Mommy was holding to the last, she died 3 days before the evacuation. I told my brother that she’s fast asleep, and he should not be waking her up. But I think he understood everything.“

“You know the feeling when it hurts? I once fell in love with a boy, but he did not fall in love with me, and I thought it was painful. It turns out, it is painful to see how your mother dies in front of your eyes. And your little brother keeps coming to her and saying “Mommy, don’t sleep, you’ll get cold”. We will never be able to visit her grave. She stayed in that dark wet basement.“

“I hate russia. My own uncle is there. You know what he told me today on the phone? 'Katya? What Katya? Girl, I don’t know you. What war, what Katya?' And later he wrote me from some random number 'Katya, don’t write me. It is dangerous for me and my family. You can’t bring your mother back.' I hate them! This was his own sister?! How can someone do it?“

“… you know, I think, I will come back to Mariupol. And will live in the same place. And will every time, on the same day, go down in the basement of a new house and bring flowers.“